Prayers Appreciated…

If you ask God for forgiveness but don’t stop doing what you’re asking forgiveness for, can you really call yourself repentant?

Over the last 20+ years, I have occasionally engaged in some pretty shameful behavior. I don’t recall specifically when it started. I really don’t know why it started, But it’s a temptation I can’t seem to get away from.

At different times, I’ve literally brought myself to tears talking to God about it and asking for forgiveness and for His guidance. The burden is lifted, my shame goes away, I feel like things are fine. And for months at a time, everything’s peachy. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I feel myself being sucked back into that world. It’s like I temporarily lose self-control.

Why? Why do I allow myself to do something that I feel so ashamed of? Why do I seemingly feign repentance? I can fool myself — why do I think I can fool God?

I’m tired of thinking about it, I just need to continue to pray about it.

I’m pretty sure this is the most personal I’ve gotten — I didn’t want to say too much, but I felt like I needed to bare my soul just a bit and ask for your prayers.


2 thoughts on “Prayers Appreciated…

  1. I’ll pray for you. You sound pretty normal to me! Everyone wrestles with stuff. I try to remember who Jesus chose as followers, murderers,thieves, prostitutes, and tax collectors. David, a great king who had the Lord’s favor, killed a guy so he could take his wife. The Apostle Paul had a thorn. All these things are just good reminders that we aren’t alone when it comes to human behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Examino

    Certainly, I will offer prayers for you. In fact it is done as we speak.

    Some things to ponder. First, by faith through grace we are saved…not of works and all of the rest. If you have exercised a saving faith in Jesus, then you can rest secure in that. The forgiveness He offers eternally is sealed and permanent, and you can never lose that.

    Now, on to our Christian lives. Remember, even the great Paul said he continued to sin. He clearly said he continues to do the very things he does not want to do.

    Romans 7:15
    For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

    We are all works in progress. Hand it over to Him, and He will always forgive.

    Liked by 1 person

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