Stress & The INFJ

Within the last five years, I’ve become very acquainted with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, which is used to assess people’s personality types. When I found out what I was (an INFJ) and read the major character traits of this very rare personality type, I almost cried. I realized that all those feelings of being different and a bit set apart from other people, for so many years, weren’t just in my head. My social awkwardness and introversion wasn’t something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. The label of INFJ has actually been quite freeing.

I happened to come across a meme listing off some common stressors/pet peeves of INFJ’s. Maybe some of these apply to you too, even if you don’t identify as an INFJ.

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“Feeling misunderstood” and “dismissing how I feel” –> two BIG pet peeves of mine. I don’t expect people to understand exactly how I operate or why I think the way I do. But when I actually dare to open up and express my feelings and opinions, but then get written off as if what I think and feel doesn’t matter to the other person — that lack of respect is seriously maddening. In many situations, I try my best to show respect to others; why is it I can’t get that in return? Being more assertive and standing up for myself, especially around certain people, is something I still struggle with.

“Lack of closure” –> something else that bothers me, as I’m sure it bothers other INFJ’s. Unresolved conflict, even if it doesn’t affect me directly, causes stress. I like things to have an endpoint; I like to see a solution. And when there isn’t one on the horizon, it bugs me. Sometimes the lack of closure is due to my own passive-aggressiveness or fear of confrontation…yeah, I have some issues. ;-(

“Loudness” –> I find sudden, loud noises jarring. Being an avid fan of movies, it pains me to say that I don’t go to see movies in the theater very often because of this reason; I tend to watch a lot of movies on TV and DVD. As for socializing, it’s hard for me to focus on one particular conversation when I’m in a room full of people, all trying to talk over one another.

“Negativity from others” –> I try my best to be a positive person, so a lot of negative vibes around me are not good. I know people who seem to thrive on complaining and gossiping; it’s like a reflex, they can’t help themselves. Life is way too short. Yes, bad things happen, but endless rehashing of stuff from the past just doesn’t do anyone any good.

“Routine disturbed” –> This is a biggie for many INFJ’s. We like our routines and we like to have most of our time planned out. Having that routine interrupted can cause some stress. For me, I love my routine and I like knowing what’s going to happen. But, I have learned over time to be a little more flexible.

“Let’s go around the circle and share” –> Um, let’s not and say we did?! The bane of this introvert’s existence is being put on the spot. I am a quick thinker in most situations, but sometimes when it comes to work-related group discussions, I can get tongue-tied or I have trouble coming up with something to say. I don’t like to speak up unless I actually have something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation.

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Do you agree with the stressors listed in the picture? Are there any you would add? How do you deal with stress, whether self-inflicted or caused by others?

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9 thoughts on “Stress & The INFJ

  1. I enjoyed reading this. I’m an intp, very rare too, but it was such a relief to finally understand. I also used to feel different and set apart, as if I were an odd duck. Actually I am an odd duck, but in a good way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is a relief isn’t it? It’s kind of liberating to be able to say “this is who I am – take it or leave it” and not feel like you have to apologize for your little quirks and idiosyncrasies. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I can be fairly rational, logical, stoic when necessary. But, yeah, sensitivity is pretty common with INFJ’s. I think we take on the burdens of others around us because we care so much about people, even if we don’t want to always be around them. 😉

      I like to think I’ve educated my mom a bit about my introversion — I feel like she and I are a little more in tune with each other now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We educate and help each other. The first step is to acknowledge we are different, and that’s ok. MBTI has been such a help for me to understand others, because they are such a mystery.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh yeah, I definitely agree. My younger sister is the exact opposite of me, which has taught me how to have more patience and tolerance for extroverts. She’s the social butterfly of the family. ☆

        Liked by 1 person

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