The Double-Edged Sword of Introversion.

The Upside:

I’ve lived on my own since I was 20, and I absolutely love having my own apartment – my own little space to do what I want when I want. I like where I live – I can come and go fairly inconspicuously.

I like where I work – I’m able to work on my own and at my own speed, but yet I still feel like I am part of a team, and I feel like my input and what I do on a daily basis does matter.

I love my family – without them, I wouldn’t be half the person I am.

Being introverted, I treasure my alone time. I feel like I see things a little differently than most other people. Because I have a lot of time to think, I’m able to formulate my own opinions about issues without being so swayed and influenced by others. I see the bigger picture – I’m definitely one who looks to the future. I would call myself an idealist but with a realist slant–I see how things could be, but I don’t ignore the reality of how things are presently.

In a way, I like feeling “set apart” from people–I observe more than I interact. I might see little things that others don’t. As an introvert, I may be socially awkward, but I am not anti-social. I love people and I love the world…from a distance.

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The Downside:

Yes, I do get lonely. We introverts pride ourselves on being fairly solitary individuals, but if we’re being honest, we do get pangs of loneliness here and there. Personally, I get lonely around the holidays. Celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with family and friends is fun. But when you’re sitting by yourself on the couch in your apartment on New Year’s Eve, watching the ball drop in Times Square – the loneliness creeps up on you.

My co-workers are fun to be around and we get along, but I don’t necessarily have much in common with them. Once you get to a certain age, almost everyone around you is either already married, getting married, married with kids, or just starting to have kids. Boy, it is hard some days not to be bitter and wonder Am I missing out on something? Maybe if I was just a little more outgoing, maybe I’d seem more interesting to people…It does matter to me what people think of me – other people’s perceptions affect me much more deeply than I sometimes care to admit. I am not one to engage people in conversation; I have a tendency to “clam up” in group settings where discussion and feedback is encouraged. I know what I want to say, but to verbalize it can be hard. I can do small talk in small doses, but I would love to have someone engage me on a deeper level. I think sometimes that I fear saying the wrong thing and causing that person not to like me.

Ah, the double-edged sword of introversion.

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I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. Since joining the WordPress community, I’ve come across people to whom I feel a kinship to. You guys are a blessing and an encouragement to me.

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