I’m a sucker for lame puns – so is my dad, apparently. He passed these on to me a while back and I thought I’d throw them out there for you all to enjoy. Have a great start to your holiday weekend!
– I tried to catch some fog; I mist.
– Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
– A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
– Energizer bunny is arrested, charged with battery.
AVOIDABLE: What the bullfighter tries to do.
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
MISTY: How golfers make divots.
– The biggest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
– I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was only an Aleutian.
– She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
– No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
– Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
– I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
– A boiled egg is hard to beat.
– He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
– The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison — a small medium at large.
– If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
– Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
– Acupuncture: a jab well done.
– Broken pencils are pointless.