Pun intended…

I’m a sucker for lame puns – so is my dad, apparently. He passed these on to me a while back and I thought I’d throw them out there for you all to enjoy. Have a great start to your holiday weekend!

– I tried to catch some fog; I mist.

– Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

– A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

– Energizer bunny is arrested, charged with battery.

AVOIDABLE: What the bullfighter tries to do.

EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

MISTY: How golfers make divots.

– The biggest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

– I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was only an Aleutian.

– She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

– No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

– Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

– I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

– A boiled egg is hard to beat.

– He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

– The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison — a small medium at large.

– If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

– Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

– Acupuncture: a jab well done.

– Broken pencils are pointless.

fireworks

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