Learning to be “selfish”

I’m a fairly non-confrontational person, so I’ve said “yes” to things more times in my life than I care to admit. I’m a people pleaser, so when I do say “no” to party invites or people’s requests to go places/do things, I get those twinges of guilt and doubt. I can be resourceful when I need to be, muster up the energy to spend some time with family or others when I would really rather be by myself. But now that I am more comfortable with who I am and how I operate, saying “no” actually feels more liberating than guilt-inducing.

welcome to my little piece of quiet

SolitudeI’m the kind of person who, up until a few months ago, would say yes to every request that came my way. Yes, of course I can drive you to the airport. Sure, I’ll help you move your stuff into your new apartment. Okay, I can do that for you. No problem, I’ll be there around 3. And while its a wonderful thing to be helpful, it can become too much at times. When you start sacrificing your time and effort for others, its easy to forget about your own needs.

I volunteered to move a friend a few months back. It was supposed to take 2-3 hours, so I drove over after work and started helping out. I didn’t pick up anything to eat, because I thought it would finished by dinner time. It ended up taking 6 hours, I didn’t get home til nearly 11 pm, and the only thing…

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